


Hold it Against Me

by ImmigrantPhenomenon



Series: Over, Under, and Back Again [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Camping, Dry Humping, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multi, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, Periods, Semi-Public Sex, Skinny Dipping, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, Trans Alexander Hamilton, Truth or Dare, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-05-04 02:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14583384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmigrantPhenomenon/pseuds/ImmigrantPhenomenon
Summary: Thomas, Alex, and John have been dating for a good year, almost two, when the sisters invite them to go camping with Maria, Lafayette, and Hercules. Games are played, fun is made, and everyone is happy.But in a polyamorous relationship, it can be easy to feel left out. Of course, that only means there's more people to make it better.





	1. If I Said My Heart Was Beating Loud

Alex jumped around in the car excitedly, pulling at John’s hair and kicking Thomas’ seat from behind. John whimpered, holding the place on his scalp Alex was trying to rip hair from.

“Alex, chill hun.” He pried his body away from his, moving over to the seat farest away from him.

“I can’t just _chill out_ , I’m so excited!” He squealed, fists clenching now that they have nothing to grab.

Thomas chuckled at their little charade, smiling as he pulled into the parking place as close as it could be to the door. “We’re here, Darlings.”

Alex gaped practically throwing himself out the door, standing on staggering legs, the blue of the Walmart sign beating down on them. John toppled out next, grabbing Thomas’ hand for support, smiling at the excited boy.

“Babe, we're just going camping, not winning the lottery or something.”

Alex turned, eyes glowing with a fire that could never be quenched, mouth darting open in a sly grin, “I've never been camping before!” He declared, taking their hands and yanking them in the direction of the store. John and Thomas exchanged a glance of wonder, grasping hands, pulling Alex in the middle. They trapped him by their fingers, locking his body between theirs.

“How have you not been camping before?” John started, jumping forward to activate the automatic doors, pulling them in. His voice was excited, suddenly aware of why Alex was so on turn.

“Martha and George are always gone, so it’s just me and the nanny most of the time. Especially in the summer, so we just never get to go anywhere.” They smiled, the memory seemed sad, but Alex didn't convey it that way, speaking fondly of it instead. “She’s really nice, helped me with my body, took me shopping. Summers weren’t so bad.” Thomas took a cart, pushing it in front of them, a boy on each side.

“That’s nice,” John whispered, his own loopy smile gracing his features, “At least you’re nanny’s okay with you. Mine just kinda… pretends we aren’t there? I dunno, we started pulling pranks on her a year ago, the hag deserves it.” His face went sour, making them both giggle.

“Least y’all have a nanny. I’m the nanny in my house.”

They two fell into a laughing fit, trying to stay standing as the passed aisle after aisle. They paused after they recovered, looking down each alley for things they needed.

“What exactly are we looking for?” John pushed the end of the cart making it twist in Thomas’ grasp, yanking them down one. It was lined with blankets and pillows, tents at the end.

“This shit.” He replied, running his hand over all the pieces of fabric. Thomas abandoned the cart, walking to the end of the aisle to pick out a tent, gazing while John and Alex picked out blankets.

John pulled one off, spun Alex around and wrapped him in it. “How’s it feel?”

“Soft. Warm.” He moaned, spinning in it. The blanket was much larger than his small frame, making it perfect for him to use. “Can we get it?”

“You haven’t even felt any of the others-”

“I like this one!” He shoved it in the cart, taking two larger ones and tossing them in after. “And so do you.” He decided for them, pulling the cart by it’s end to Thomas. They made it just in time for Thomas to shout in victory, plopping a bundle in next to the blankets. “Now what?” John took out a piece of paper, unwrapping the crinkled list.

“The Sisters put us on smores, flashlights-” He let out a groan, then looked to Alex and smiled, “And pads, courtesy of you and me, baby.”

Alex’s face scrunched up in confusion, before remembering that John would carry around products for the girls and the fact that Alex used them. Thomas stuck his tongue out “We’ll get those things last.” Pushing towards the food.

They collected chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers, all before turning back to the regular shopping area. They found multiple small flashlights that would probably only last a week or so, but that’s all they really needed, slapping the cheap things in the cart. Last, they went to the health section, meeting the chemical stench of pills and their bottles, cleaning alcohol left over from flu-shot-season. The twisted into the hall, meeting multiple colored packages, all with different brands, designs, and sizes.

Thomas turned around, messing with the different hair care products on the opposite side of shelves, leaving Alex and John for the dirty work.

“Uh… do you know what the sister’s use?” He paused, face going scarlet, “Do you know what _I_ use?” It was a shame he never asked his parents for them, they’ve been gone since it started, so they don’t even know he needs them. He’d tell the nanny, if he felt a little more comfortable with using them himself.

“Is yours even supposed to start?” Alex shrugged his shoulders, staring at the pads.

“I can’t wear those…” He whispered, pointing. “Unless-”

“Would you like us to buy you underwear, Alex?” John purred, making Alex’s face darken. Likewise, he nodded, hiding his face in his hands. He stayed hidden when John relayed the news to Thomas, face going just as dark. He left them to their decision making, cart staying with them as well, going over excuses as to why he’d be in that section of the store. “I bet he’s more embarrassed than you, baby girl.”

Alex barely nodded, letting John pick and choose, tossing things absently in the cart. He also picked up more Advil, along with other things in the section Alex was to afraid to look at, giving John absolute freedom. When Thomas came back, he was gleaming a ruby color over his cheeks, saying nothing as he pushed them to the checkout, anxiously standing in line with their cart full of lady things, and no lady to be seen.

When they pulled up, John went to the register while the other two loaded the belt, already whipping out his card. The lady looked nice, in both ways, her hair dark brown, skin rather pale. She looked like a mix between Eliza and Maria, smiling to himself at the thought of the couple.

“Girlfriend's?” She questioned, voice sweet as expected. John flashed a grin at Alex, then to the lady.

“Not exactly…” Alex darkened, the lady giving them their own grin.

“That's cute. You're boyfriend’s?” She pointed, pretending to shoot Alex with a finger gun. John nodded, never one for taking what people threw. He was _gay_ , and if someone asked, he wasn't going to lie for their sake. Maybe, _maybe,_ he would lie about Alex if it made him uncomfortable, but all in all, he tried to make people as uncomfortable as he could. Unless they were like this girl, seemingly accepting, then he'd just spit the truth, no harm done.

“Wish my boyfriend was as open as you guys.” She paused, “When he got his period for the first time, he pretended to be sick from school, hid at home for a week. He wouldn't even let _me_ in.”

John smiled, Thomas doing the same, while Alex bumped into his chest, hiding his face. “Tell him we wish him luck, you two seem to have a nice relationship.”

“We really do.” She grinned, bagging the last of the items. She rang up his total, took his card and swiped, pulling out the receipt, handing both back to him. “Have a great day- er- trip.” She said, focusing on the tent. “You should try skinny dipping when you're camping, it's actually really fun.” She giggled at their shocked expressions, John recovering first.

“Yeah, maybe we will.” He took the bag, wrapping them in his arm and leaving the rest for Thomas.

“Maybe we will _not._ ” Alex grumbled, walking out to the car. They walked in silence until they reached it, Alex jumping in the back seat while Thomas took the driver's once again. John plopped in beside him with an undignified groan.

“Why not?” He buckled up, “It could be fun!” he cheered, “Imagine it being pitch black, nothing but water between me and- these!”

He lunged for Alex, fingers grabbing at his arms. Alex snorted, dissolving into giggles, watching John bury his nose between his boobs. Alex choked, hand finding John's curls, his tongue licking over his bare collar bone. Slowly be moved down, finding the soft bumps through Alex's binder, mouthing at his nipples, growing hard at the attention. He let out a moan, jaw going slack as John continued to lick into the thickness of his shirt, the wetness seeping through his binder.

“Guy, come _on._ ” Thomas scolded from the front seat, making Alex whine while John pulled away.

“Thomas!” He whined, reaching for John again. Thomas only clicked his tongue, licking his lips.

“At least wait until I can join.”

…

Alex and John giggled around each other, dancing around while Thomas packed up the car.

“How far away is the campground?” John asked, stuffing his hands down the sides of Alex’s pants. Alex stopped dancing, moving his attention to the last bag Thomas was carrying out, smiling.

“Maybe a four-five hour drive? Maybe a little more.” He smiled, “Then we’ll have one week of sleeping with each other _every_ night.” They grinned at the hushed squeals from them.

John smiled, falling onto the pristine white couch in his living room, pulling Alex down with him. They toppled down together, just in time to hear Thomas come back in through the door, hearing it bang shut.

“I still can’t believe your parents are allowing you to go.” John smirked, Alex’s face lighting up.

“Me either, but, hey. They trust us, and I trust you, so we’re all good.” He beamed, swooping down for a kiss.

“That is, if we use protection.” Thomas chided, with a lopsided grin. They pulled apart, startled, John’s face flushed. Alex on the other hand bounded up, eyes going wide.

“My birth control!” He smacked himself in the face, hoping off John, who was kneed in the stomach. Giving a painful groan after him, Alex shouted “Sorry!” Toppling to the bathroom. He’d stored extra there, just in case a moment just like this popped up.

When he fell back out, empty handed, John only grinned, Thomas smirking. “We wouldn’t let you forget them like that.”

Alex sighed, falling into his arms. “Thanks.”

“Of course, baby girl.” John cooed, pulling him away from Thomas’ grasp.

“Now,” Thomas pulled him back, “Let’s go have some fun.”


	2. If We Could Escape The Crowd Somehow

“Maybe we should pull over soon.”

“Come on, we’re almost there!”

“You know Alex is going to have to pee when he wakes up. He _always_ does.”

“Once again, we’re almost there.”

Alex rubbed the bleariness from his eyes, fluttering them open to the voices around him. He gave a sleepy smile, easing off of the window. He held his head as he lifted it up, stiff from leaning against the window. The car smelled like coffee, body greeting it with vigour, blinking the last bit of sleepiness from his eyes.

“ _T_ _here_ doesn’t have any bathrooms.”   
“Well, we’re going to have to get used to that.” John responded with a groan, brushing the loose hair from his face.

“Fine. But you’re hauling his ass into the middle of the woods to help him when we get there.”

“Deal.” Thomas smirked, swerving the car off the highway and onto a secluded path.

Alex pushed himself away from the door, reaching for his almost empty coffee cup. It was cold, but tasted the same, sipping the last of it. John turned his head, noticing the moving body next to him, taking his hand.

“G’morning.” He whispered, landing a peck on his cheek. Thomas said something similar, but his senses still garbled with sleep were to caught up on the feel of John’s warm hand in his cold one.

“Where’re we-?” He slurred, wiping his eyes one last time. Thomas moved the mirror, pausing when he caught Alex in it.

“Almost there, honey, almost there.” Alex murmured something, unbuckling his seatbelt. “Alex-”

“Wanna be closer…” He scooted up in the seat, wrapping his arms around it and Thomas’ torso. “Warm.” He commented, making John giggle from beside him. Alex felt Thomas’ chuckle rumble through his arms, squeezing him tighter.

They sat in a comfortable silence for a while, John scrolling through his phone, Alex laying against the seat like he could feel Thomas through it, while Thomas carried them under the leaves of trees, sun shining onto them in diverse patterns, the road turning to dirt.

John gasped excitedly, holding his phone in the air. “I just found out there are sand dunes here! Right next to our sight!” Alex’s eyebrows quirked up, turning his head to him. John shrugged, catching Alex’s confusion, “Ya know, sand dunes, giant mountains of sand we can climb?”

“And… why would we do that?” Thomas shuddered, “Sounds dirty.”

“You’re going _camping_ \- wha-? I- what?” John stuttered, “Your gonna get dirty!” He shook his head, “Nevermind. Obviously, Alex’s never been climbing, but I woulda thought you have.” Thomas shook his head, turning onto another dirt road, all of them seeming to have no end.

“What’s so fun about a pile of sand?” Alex yawned, still waking up.

“... It’s not something you can just _describe_ …” He emphasised with the wave of his hand.

“Nice save.” Thomas snorted, earning him a glare.

“Just wait, I’m taking y’all, and you’re going to enjoy it.”

John turned his phone off, plugging it into the car charger. He unclicked his belt and scooted closer to Alex, taking his arms off Thomas to buckle him back in. He pouted, capturing John’s arm instead.

“Is he okay?” Thomas questioned, face full of sugared concern in the mirror. John bit his lip, placing his hand on Alex’s stomach. Bloated, at least just slightly. He brought his hands up higher, brushing over his breasts. Alex whimpered, puffing his chest out further.

“Did it hurt?”

“No, feels good. Keep going.” He moaned, placing his hands over John’s.

“Kinda bloated,” He spoke to Thomas, who nodded in the mirror, “Could be starting soon.” John continued to play with the small bumps, sending spikes of pleasure through Alex, who sighed into it.

“Why do you even know that?” He yawned again, close to falling asleep enjoying the feeling of being in John’s arms.

“You didn’t think we wouldn’t do our research, did you?” Alex giggled at that, soft and sleepy, “We want to make it comfortable for you.” John cooed, unraveling his body from Alex. He slipped his own seat belt back on, letting Alex fall on his shoulder, content.

“That's nice.” He whispered, falling asleep for the second time that trip.

John smiled, playing with his hair as he rested. “Thomas, how’re you doing up there? Need me to take over?”

“Nah, just keep him comfy.”

“Do you think we're being too overprotective?”

“Absolutely not.” Thomas scoffed, feigning hurt. “That hasn't even started yet.”

John groaned. “Tommy, I'm serious. Are we being too crazy?”

Thomas stopped, smiling fading. John only called him Tommy when he was falling, and now wasn't the time. Not that he wasn't going pull over until he was better, but it wouldn't be conventional. He could hear the worry in his voice, the strain, the panic, pausing the get into the space to care for him. “Baby, are you okay.” He turned around, just in time to see John nodding.

“I'm just scared Alex isn't going to want us if we keep being so… parent-y.”

Thomas smiled, reaching back to grab his hand. “Alex doesn't know what it's like to have parents, not really. We're here to give him that love, plus the love special to us. He'll be okay, and so will we. Okay?”

“...'Kay.”

Thomas took his hand back, returning it to the wheel.

It was a peaceful drive the rest of the way, eye glancing back and forth between the road and his two babies sleeping in the back, curled around each other like puppies. He watched Alex whimper, squealing at something in his sleep, mouth falling open. Thomas bit his lip. They weren't _that_ worried about him. He could take care of himself… kinda. He didn't know where he stood in this relationship. He knew John longer, obviously trusted him more, and Thomas understood that, and he was more than okay with it. He just didn't know what he was supposed to do. Stand to the side? Try to intervene? No, he didn't want either of those things, but he didn't have any other choice.

He blew out a breath. He was overthinking this, he was just so… _protective_. John's voice ringing through his ears. He blocked it out, blinking his tired eyes.

He wasn't bad for wanting to keep Alex safe. Or comfortable, or just generally happy with his body. He did these things so Alex wouldn't hurt, or feel rejected. Why would that be a bad thing?

…

“Gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee-” Alex danced around beside John, punching at Thomas’ chair. Thomas tried to ignore the knowing smirk John wore, sexy and sassy, from behind. He pulled into their slot, already decorated with a number of tents, people walking in, out, and between them. The sisters waved, jumping out of the way of the car so he could get out of the road. Not that it was really a road, just a dirt path to the other campsites.

They were number 28, the best spot, Peggy had declared. The spot itself was just dirt, a clearing of dirt to fill as you pleased, surrounded by trees, plants, and poison ivy. They had a fireplace in the center, it's metal barrier reflecting the sun, now setting after their long drive.

Alex toppled out first, making a beeline to the foliage, Thomas behind him, still ignoring John who stayed and began unloading the truck.

Angelica crunched leaves and rocks as she walked, greeting him with a wave. “Hey.”

“Hey,” John smiled, lifting the trunk. “How's it been up here?”

Angelica grinned, taking the bags while John messed with the tent. “The same, I guess, Herc and Lafayette came up a while ago and met us here. It's been nice, nicer then our town at least.” She gave a sigh, “I'd stay up here the whole year if I could. It's peaceful.” John nodded, bringing their tent to the edge of the site.

The Sister's and Herc and Laf’s were next to each other on the side, John's moving to the tip. It was the largest, so they were given the most room, all of them circling the campfire. Across from the sisters a stand up tent was covering various tables filled with cooking objects of their makeshift kitchen.

Slowly, Angelica and John eased up the tent, pulling and prodding each other with poles.

“So…” Angelica's voice broke the silence. “What's it like… being in a poly relationship?” When there was a paused, she recovered quickly, tossing the blankets into the tent and turning. “Not that it's any of my business, I was just wondering-”

“Angie, it's amazing.” He grinned, watching her breathing relax again, “There's more people, obviously, less fighting because it's easier to come to a solution with a third party I guess. And the _sex._ ” They both blushed red, but Angelica got the point, sweeping him into a hug.

“Thanks… and, one more question, if that's alright?”

“Fire away.”

“How'd you guys… become like that.” Her face scrunched up. “How did you find one person attractive without feeling guilty for the other?”

John's face fell. He didn't know, it just… fell into place. It was so effortless, like it was _supposed_ to be, they were meant to be, even though none of them really understood what they were doing.

“I guess it just fell into place.” He spoke with a low voice, the smallest amount of amusement in it. “If it's supposed to happen, I guess it will.”

She nodded, spinning around to head over to Eliza. About to walk away, she turned around once again, mouth open.

“And we're going to the beach, if you'd like to come. It's just up that road,” she pointed to the left of the U shaped road, “Then you take a left onto a side path next to a cabin. The path’ll lead you straight there.” She smiled, finally taking a breath. She clutched the bag at her side and headed in the other girls direction.

“Boo.” Thomas’ voice broke the tree rustling silence, making him jump, covering a scream with his hand. “We're back.” They grinned.

“You got the tent up!” Alex cheered, very much awake. “Come on, let's go inside.”

The huddled between the nondescript walls of their tent, easily fitting the three of them and possibly more.

John sighed, “Is it weird I'm so tired after doing absolutely nothing?” Followed by a yawn.

Thomas chuckled, “No, your brain's just been shut down the entire day, and still is.” Alex crawled into Thomas’ lap, pressing his face to Thomas’ chest. “I hope you're not too tired. Alex's been trying to get some since you played with him in the car.”

“Then you left me hanging.” Alex whined, referring to his breasts, cupping them in his hands.

John giggled, pulling Alex between them. “Everyone else left for the beach. Why don't we stay, say we need to rest…?”

Alex moaned victoriously, immediately stripping from his shirt in one swift movement. His black binder stood out beautifully one his skin, trapping his gorgeous nipples, hard beneath fabric. John whimpered, clawing at it.

“Off. Want to see.” He moaned, pushing it over his stomach, taking his arms from the straps. “Gotta be quick.”

He cupped Alex's breast in his hand, pressing a pretty kiss to the center. Alex sighed into it, watching John's mouth latch to the skin with a groan. He felt tipsy off the short burst of pleasure from the feel of his tongue, scratching over the sensitive nubs. He almost choked when Thomas joined him, sucking and biting at the neglected one, dark and pink in his mouth. John nipped slightly, making Alex gasp, hips swerving on the ground.

“Sensative.” John breathed, taking his mouth off for a second. Alex whimpered, Thomas and John moved onto their stomachs, Thomas’ mouth never ceasing his torturous dance around him.

John pressed his thumb to the waistband of his pants, snapping it on his skin, before slipping it off the curve of his ass. Still on his legs, John bent Alex's knees, pulling them off his feet to reveal.

Panties, sexy, black lace wrapped around him.

Thomas moaned, squeezing his eyes shut and pulling away. Alex's blush darkened, feeling John's hand never leave his hip, messing with the frill at the edges. “Where did you even _get_ these?” Thomas moaned, pulling him into his lap. He pressed his lips back to his nipple, sucking on and around it. Alex whined, pushing his hips on his leg.

“Had them- _hah-_ since… l-last month. Bought- bought them for- _uh- you!_ ” He continued to hump up his leg, sticking his ass out to provide more friction on his clit.

John moaned, pulling his cock from his pants, tightening his fist around it.

“ _Shit_ , baby girl.” He hissed, pulling Alex closer to him.

Thomas turn him around, stuffing Alex's face in John's direction, keeping his hips in his hands. John scrambled to his bag, pulling out a small lube bottle, tossing it to him.

Cock hard in his hand, Thomas slicked up, standing on his knees, pressing to Alex's entrance, through the black material. He cried out, just the slight pressure stretching him.

John pulled Alex's face down, feeling Alex's breath hot on his cock. Hard, pretty pink, Alex licked his lips, blowing at the precome gathering at the head. John whimpered shoving his hips up. Alex complied easily, opening his mouth, letting him slip in.

John moaned, mouth falling open, fingers slipping into his hair. He tried not to thrust up, pulling Alex's hair to study him.

Thomas slipped off the panties, keeping his legs trapped by his thighs, the lace resting crudely over him, keeping his front covered. It was barely pulled down enough to reveal Alex's dripping heat, but it was enough. He lined his cock back up, giving Alex's a few teasing thrusts.

He felt Alex shiver, watching John's eyes roll back, falling on his back. Alex continued to suck either way, pressing his hips back and his face up, greedy for anything he could touch. His hands roamed what he could of John's stomach, running them down his pants and over his hips, playing with his nipples.

John moaned, “Quick- T-thomas- _oh_ , fuck, _Alex-!_ ”

Thomas pressed in the rest of the way, easing John's please watching with growing arousal as Alex mouthed at John, licking and sucking obscenely around him. Alex moaned, the sound traveling down John's cock, hips stuttering as they were forced down. It only encouraged him further, building a steady pace, Alex taking it with glowing ease.

Soon moans and grunts were the only thing you could hear, loud in the tent, doing their best to quiet them in case anyone came back.

Every thrust got harder, and with every thrust, Alex's throat slipped and coiled further around John's impossibly hard cock, moaning as the tight bundle of heat expanded in his navel, clit aching to be rubbed.

He forced Thomas’ hand to it, pressing his hand over his, working their fingers through his folds and around the nub, showing him what he wanted.

It didn't take long for him to come, wound up from the teasing, and the waiting, spurting around Thomas’ thickness, warmth spreading into the panites. He sicked harder, forcing John's release down his throat, a long cry signaling it.

Thomas watched the sight of his lovers coming undone, giving a final thrust before stilling his hips, deep inside Alex, waves of pleasure rolling through them like the ocean, salt lingering in the air. He spilt his release, sighing as he pulled out, leaning down to kiss Alex.

He pressed his face to Alex's swollen sex, kissing and sucking on it until the pleasure subsided, leaving him a whimpering, twitchy mess.

“Better?”

“So much.” He gasped, falling over. “Now I'm really tired.” He declared, snuggling up to John, who agreed wholeheartedly.

“Then let's _actually_ sleep. They wake us up for dinner, and we can stay up all night.” He whispered suggestively. Alex suppressed a shiver, trying not to get wound up again.

“Mhmm, yes please.” He grinned back, letting John press his face to his chest.

“Love these.” He whispered, licking up the side of Alex's breast, forcing down another shiver. “So pretty.”

Alex rolled his eyes, smiling anyway. How did he get so lucky?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who does one ship Angelica with?


	3. If I Said I Want Your Body Now

Alex woke up to the sweet smell of fire, smoke wafting around them, carrying a dizzying pine scent.

The trio was still glowing with after-sex, Thomas and Alex shifted as they inched back into reality, rubbing the sleep from their eyes. Trapped in the middle, Alex shifted, yawning.

He felt something hard against his thigh, pausing to press against it experimentally. A high pitched whine blew behind him, making him jump. John, still sleeping, cuddled around Alex, trapping him in a needy embrace.  _ Morning wood _ . Alex rolled his eyes, bending his leg back behind him, like a yoga pose he remembered doing, locking it between John's. He felt John relax his body, pressing down into the pressure of his leg, forcing another shiver.

Alex felt his breath on his shoulder, a little giggle following his thrusts, he pressed down harder.

Thomas cocked up an eyebrow, smirk playing on his lips. “Really?” He whispered, tucking Alex's hair back so he could see John's face.

“What? He's just  _ so hard _ .” Alex moaned, winking. “I wanna touch him.”

“Chill, Alex. He's still asleep, let him wake up on his own.” But John didn't seem anywhere close to waking up, still pressing prettily onto Alex's leg, soft moans flooding his ears.

Thomas stood up, wandering around the tent until he came across his suitcase, unzipping it and pulling out a pair of boxers. He pulled those on before scavenging back through for the rest of his clothes.

“What does it feel like?” Alex tilted his head, spreading his thighs under the blanket. It seemed fun to ignore Thomas’ statement, smiling to himself and pressing his thigh harder together. “To be hard, I mean.”

“To be…hard?”

“Mhmm.” He pulled at John's cock, bringing it between his legs, unbeknownst to Thomas. John gasped, loudly, biting into the soft flesh of Alex's neck.

“Um…? Well…” He stood, turning around. Slowly he inched back to Alex, pulling himself back to the floor, pulling the blanket off Alex's chest. He brushed his fingers over Alex's nipples, pulling a moan and a leg squeeze in retaliation. John's cock throbbed between his them, another puff of air hitting his neck, right where his teeth dug in. “It feels like this… but lower.” Thomas finished, looking unsure of his own statement.

“What's the most sensitive part?” Alex asked, so nonchalantly he was wondering how Thomas wasn't suspicious yet. He dipped his fingers under the blanket, smiling sweetly while Thomas tilted his head.

“The… head.”

His fingers found the head, pinching at it every time it peaked between his thighs. The groaning got louder, the biting stronger, and Alex's inner thighs became wetter, with his own liquid or John's precome, he didn't know. Thomas glanced at him from the side, a shitty grin plastered like a painting.

When Thomas inched closer, he thought nothing of it, until the blanket was ripped from his naked body. The cold air hit him like a bus, curling and shivering into himself while Thomas lifted the cloth over his head victoriously.

“Ha!” Alex mewled at the declaration, closing his eyes like the air was singeing them. He reached blindly for the blanket, John’s thrusts slowing at the lack of warmth. “Babe, I told you to lay off him.” He pouted, shivering again. Still he kept his thighs locked together, only broken by the steady peak of John’s cock, the head flushed red between his toned skin.

“But he was already hard and I- being as gracious as I am- decided to help.” He crossed his arms, hoping Thomas couldn’t tell it was from the cold. He sighed, moving to join them on the floor, settling the blanket back over them.

“But he's so cute when he's  _ desperate _ .”

My god.

It sounded so sweet, perfect, and all out  _ slutty _ . If that wasn't doing things to Thomas’ head, then nothing would, eyes darkening with lust. “You started this.” He snorted gruffly, twisting over their bodies. He pulled in behind John, are going to wrap around his torso. “We can't let him be making any noise, now can we?”

Alex nodded eagerly, opening his legs and freeing John's cock. He whined, cutting it off when he was facing him, leg's clenching back down around his length. Never, had Alex seen John's mouth open so wide, eyes popping open, and a hand suddenly covering his mouth.

Thomas dark skin was easily distinguishable over John's fluster, dark and strong, John's eyes swimming with fear. “Hey…” Alex cooed, “it's just me and Thomas.”

It dissolved almost instantly, with an accompanied thrust of Alex's own hips, pressing his forward. He shuddered so intensely, eyes crossing as he silently began his rhythm again, heart pounding next to Alex's ear. Thomas and Alex peppered his skin with delicate kisses, on his neck, chest, and back, albeit his face, still covered by Thomas’ hand.

It was easy to see him falling apart, body twitching, eyes rolling back, mouth barely silenced by the palm in front of him. Faint 'pleases’ could be heard if you listened close enough, breathy and rough simultaneously. When his leg began twitching, as it always did before an orgasm, Alex smirked, using his hands to press his legs tighter, Thomas giving a push of his hips into John.

It was an ultimate win, Alex thought to himself, to feel John fall apart in his hands, shaking and moaning like a whore, eyes rolling back. Even the sticky feeling of come on his legs was worth it, unable to help himself from swiping his finger through it and licking it over.

“Alex? Thomas, John? Y’all awake?”

John's eyes went wide, his gasp stifled by the hand still covered his lips. “We're headed to the beach!” It was obviously Peggy, her southern accent sprouting in a way none of the others did. Except maybe Thomas. “And your fucking coming with us this time.” She added. It almost sounded like a threat.

Alex placed a finger over his lips, “Yeah, we're awake.” He heard a hand find the zipper before hastily added, “But don't come in! I'm not… decent.”

He heard a surplus of snickers, deciding it was worth it to keep John calm. And it was true, but, maybe if they knew it would be as big of a problem…

“Hurry the fuck up. We're waiting.”

John and Thomas scrambled to get up, pulling on useless t-shirts and swimming shorts, John pausing to grab another pair of his own.

Alex didn't go swimming. It scared him too much, but when he thought to try it once, it wasn't like he was given  _ boys _ swim trunks.

He let John slip his over his hips, tightening the knot much further than it was intended to go, staying taut to his waist.

“Thanks.” He whispered, flushing. He got a nod and a kiss in return.

“Thank  _ you _ , for the wake up call.” John hushed, sticking his tongue out at Alex’s wink. Thomas opened the tent flap and stepped out, leaving Alex and John in fetch of a tank top to pull over Alex's waterproof binder. John found the binder, Alex the shirt, helping him put it on with only the skightese amount of teasing. When they finally stepped out of the tent, everyone was ansty, jumping around and cheering when they finally emerged, flopping onto the path that led to the beach.

John and Alex ran ahead, giggling and shouting nonsensical things to each other. Thomas stayed behind, noticing the way Angelica fiddled nervously with the ties of her sleeveless sweatshirt, “Hey, Angelica.”

Her eyes darted up, “Hey.”

“What's wrong?” His eyebrows creased, getting closer to her.

“Nothing, really, I just had a talk with John yesterday and it got me thinking.” She spoke quietly, like she didn't want anyone else to hear, like a mumble.

“Thinking about what?” He pushed, not to be a gossip, but just to calm her down.

“About your relationship?” Her voice spiked a high, coughing it out. She saw the face he was making, or was about to make, throwing her hands up again. “Not in a bad way! Just… like… how it works.” She finally decided.

“What do you mean?”

“I don't know.” She confessed, “I just look at you guys, still glowing with attraction, but what if one of you looses your glow? What would happen if someone was just crossed out of the picture?” There was a silence. A deep, awful silence they couldn't seem to bear. “Not that it would happen to you.” Her hands returned to the hoodie strings. “I'm talking about someone else.”

She sped up slightly, leaving Thomas to his empty thoughts, walking behind everyone else.

He stared openly at the place on the beach John and Alex had gathered, huddle in a towel despite not even begin wet yet, still giggling at something.

Thomas tried not to think on her words too long, but those weren’t something easily forgotten, nagging in the back of his mind like a fly. It was keeping him on his toes, his brain spinning in millions of different directions.

He squeezed his hands into fists, they wouldn't do that to him. And he was  _ not _ going to do that to someone else. They were fine, and they were happy… but seeing them on the beach, sand in their hair from rolling around over it made his heart ache to hold them, but seeing them wrapped in each other's warmth made his body ache to leave. They didn't need him, not when they had each other.

He stayed a little behind, everyone jumping into the water, just to jump back out, screaming of the cold. Alex tensed right up, arms wrapping to covers his chest and arms, John wrapping his arms behind him.

Thomas cringed, tucking his legs under his knees.

They seemed pretty fine on their own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SCHOOL SUCKS AND IT MIGHT BE A WHILE UNTIL I POST AGAIN I'M SORRY.


	4. Would You Hold It Against Me?

Alex grinned, cupping handfuls of the lake water and throwing it at whoever got near him. John coughed, spitting out the excess amounts of liquid back at him, pulling them both into deeper waters. Angelica shouted something at them, giving them barely enough time before she topped off the side of the dock, crashing into the water with the most inelegant thing she's ever done.

“Alex!” John giggled when the power wave receded and he could finally see his soaked boyfriend again. He looked like an angry cat, hair plastered to his skin, leave him wet and grumpy.

“John!” He whined, opening his arms. John took the hint, swimming as close as he could so he could gather him in his arms, Alex's legs wrapping around his waist.

“You okay baby girl?”

“I'm good-” he paused, shaking the water from his eyes. “Hey, where's Tommy?”

“Tommy?” Alex only blushed, letting the question hang in the air. John sighed, both looking to the beach. “Maybe he just didn't want to get in the water. It  _ is _ kinda chilly.”

“Maybe…” Alex mumbled, resting his chin on John's shoulder.

“Hey, no, don't do that.”

“What?”

“I know that look. Baby- look at me.” He pouted, lifting his head. “This isn't about you. He probably just doesn't want to swim, okay?” Alex nodded.

“But he looks upset.”

They were rather far from the shore, but not too far to see him huddled on a towel, legs pulled up to his chest. He was watching both of the bobbing with the waves, longing on his face.

“Hey, maybe he is.” John cupped Alex's cheek, “but it's not because of you baby girl. Trust me. Let's just give him some space.”

“Is space what he needs?”

“I'm not sure.” John replied honestly, running a hand through his wet curls. They were cute, Alex noticed, the water making them tighter ringlets than before.

…

They thought Thomas was just having a mood, but it stayed, all throughout there trip, even when they were discussing renting a boat and a tube. He stayed quiet, distant, reminding them that maybe something was wrong. Something they didn't know how to fix.

As the day went on it only got worse, he went from distant to all out missing, coming back from long walks to see John and Alex waiting for him, cuddled in a chair, only for him to turn right back around.

Alex seemed to take it personally, suddenly hyper aware that his binder was showing, or when some snuck up on him, or one of the girls went in for a hug, he found himself pulling away. Even when John tried to wrap his arms around his waist, he'd push back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I promise baby…” they gathered around the newly lit campfire, the fire cracking as dusk approached, casting the world into a deep pit of shadows and giggles from the night. “This isn't about you. He cares too much. We just need to give him time.”

“But time runs out.” Alex pouted, nestling in John's lap. The chairs were comfortable, but Alex was cold, and he just wanted to be near someone. Someone who  _ wanted _ to hold him.

They had just settled in when Thomas ran in, flashing glinting in his hand, hair wild and messy. He spotted them, clenching his jaw. Still he made his way over, pulling a chair close to them and letting a hand fall over their laps.

John leaned down, “See, just give it time.” He whispered, kissing his cheek. Thomas stiffened a little at that, hand grabbing tighter at Alex's thigh.

“What's for dinner?” He asked, smiling.

And damn, was it fake.

If  _ John _ could tell it was fake, something was really going on. Alex noticed it too, trying not to take it too personally, focusing on the weight of Thomas’ hand still on his leg.

“Hobo pies. It's basically a pizza on two pieces of bread.” Alex responded, taking his hand. He intertwined their fingers, the point hanging above them like a knife, ready to fall and slice them apart.

“Sounds good.” He sighed, body actually easing into the chair.

They watched silently, contently, as Angelica giggled, throwing bread at Lafayette who decided to chase her around the flames. Thomas’ head lolled to the side, a smile dancing on his lips like he just figured something out. Soon Hercules joined in and Angelica stopped throwing the bread in fear of running out, decided to give in, allowing the two to tackle her to the dirty, mossy, ground of their campsite, giggling all the while.

In an instant, Lafayette and Angelica tumbked to the ground, letting out shrieks so loud Alex had to cover his ears, Hercules stopping just before achieving a similar fate. Then the world paused, for everyone, watching as Lafayette refused to stand. Angelica, trapped beneath him, has no to choice but to submit.

Lafayette pressed a pretty kiss to her lips, pressing her hard to the ground.

All heads shot to Hercules, watching with a grin as his boyfriend made out with the oldest sister, Peggy whooping from the makeshift kitchen. Eliza clapped her hands when Hercules pushing Laf off, watching him topple to the ground and replacing him with his own weight, kissing Angelica harder, with much more heat.

“Get a room!” Thomas shouted, making them both jump. Alex and John sighed, finally relieved he was lightening up.

They cooked and finished dinner rather quickly, deciding on plans for tomorrow, noticing the clouds rolling on for the night. They helped each other pull protective tarps over their tents, then nestled in. Thomas held the door open for Alex and John, creeping in behind them to tuck the blankets around his boys, cuddling around each other instinctively. Thomas waited, letting Alex grab his hand and yank it around him until he fell asleep.

Thomas smiled to himself before letting it fall, eyes wetting momentarily. It was a stupid thought, to think they'd actually love him like they love each other. He was just trying to tie himself into their skin tight bond, and that's exactly how it felt. Everything was so effortless for them, and when Thomas wasn't there, nothing changed. They didn't need him, or want him.

So the smile collapsed, feeling his lungs crush his heart, the heavy beating turning dull and useless.

Thomas slept in the car that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler filler chapter I'm sorry.
> 
> School's garbage


	5. Cause You Feel Like Paradise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of love to Loukreswag, breath babe, we all love you

Thomas ached, bending his back and stretching his arms to release a string of cracks from his back. His neck felt knotted, catching himself before letting his mind wander too far, knowing Alex or John would gladly rub the tension from beneath his skin. They actually might not. Not anymore.

It made him crawl with discomfort. He knew he had to bring up this topic eventually, but right now, he just needed the silence.

He opened the door, kicking it open with his foot, closing it after he hopped out. He yawned, pinching his shoulder between his fingers, running his hand over the soreness.

“Good morning…?” Peggy looked at him, watching the path he took. “Did you sleep in the car?”

“Yeah, it was too hot last night.” He bit his lip, moving past her to grab a mug of coffee.

She looked at him in obvious disbelief. “John and Alex didn't mind?”

“Alex loves the heat, and John loves Alex.” The thought brought a smile. One that was quickly washed away.

Almost as if on cue, the two emerged from the tent, looking tired and confused. Their eyes landed on Thomas and instantly switched to something more awake, maybe a little scared. It made Thomas swell with guilt, then suddenly, every single thing he felt deflated, like none of it really mattered. He gave them a weak smile, but let it fall when John's face stayed hard, coming at him.

“Can I talk to you.” He looked back at Alex, who'd settled into a chair, blanket wrapped tightly around him. John took the coffee from Thomas' hands, “Without Alex.” He whispered, then tracked over the said boy. He handed Alex the cup, kissed him on the cheek and caught up to Thomas.

He took his wrist, leading him away from the waking eyes and listening ears, stomping further and further into the forest until they were the only ones left that could possibly be able to hear the exchange.

“What's wrong.” John asked, straight faced.

Thomas gave a pitiful excuse for a smile, “Nothing. Why would ya think-”

“You slept in the car, Thomas.” John said harshly, voice rasing. He had tears in his eyes too, tears he refused to shed. He compensated by crossing his arms, locking his chest beneath them. He looked down, biting his lip. “Alex thinks it's him. He's scared Thomas, what's going on?” Thomas knew John was trying to be strong for him, and for Alex, but he could hear the hysterics building, edging through his voice.

“It's not Alex.” Thomas confirmed, dwelling no deeper.

“Then  _ what _ ?” John almost hissed, “Are we not enough? I don't understand- just tell us, tell me, what we can do.” He begged, heart pounding.

Thomas knew this was going to happen. Something like this was going to pop up, and he'd have to explain everything, the way he felt, how he knew they did too. His heart burned and his eyes stung with tears, but he kept his fists clenched.

“Okay.” He whispered. “Maybe you guys aren't enough.”

He watched the complete shock tip John over the edge. He watched his lip begin to quiver and her legs and arms begin to shake, guilt swarming around Thomas like the waves of an ocean, threatening to drown him. Then the tears came, wetting his face, trailing to the ground. So many, staining John's perfect features, he just wanted to reach out and wipe them away, but it was obvious his touch wouldn't be welcome.

“No-” John whispered-  _ whined _ , voice cracking. “No, no, what did we do Thomas, please-” he hiccuped, and Thomas really couldn't take it anymore. The tears began to spill past his cheeks too, John's coming out harder.

“I'm sorry, but I don't want to be the extra. I don't want to just be _ there _ . I don't want to be the backup, or the one you keep around just because you feel bad.” Thomas continued.

John's sobs got louder and louder, until he was at risk of waking the entire camp. “No we don't- you aren't like that Thomas- please, we'll do better. We need you- Alex needs you… he can't deal with this, not right now- we'll do better, I promise! Thomas I promise!” He shrieked, heart beating up his throat.

“I can't trust that, John. You've known each other forever. Alex  _ hated _ me. I can't undo what he saw when we first met, and I can't bring myself to explain it, but that's something I don't think he'll ever forgive. I'm just waiting now. Waiting for the day you break it off yourself.” He wiped his face, making a move to walk past, but John stopped him, sniffling.

“So what about me?” He looked up, “Do I mean nothing to you?”

“You mean  _ everything  _ to me, John! That's the problem. You and Alex are my everything, and I can't just sit around and wait for you realize I'm not the same!” His yelling only made it worse, John body shaking so violently, and Thomas knew what was going to happen, but he couldn't hold him, couldn't even bear to look at him.

“Thomas, please. Don't leave us now, not like this, we need you- I need you!” John pleaded, falling to his knees. And Thomas has never seen him so  _ broken  _ and ready to do absolutely anything. He always stands up for himself, for Alex, he never gave up and  _ begged _ like this. “I don't know how to make you believe we love you! I love you Thomas, isn't that enough? I need it to be enough cause I don't know what to do if it's not- I can't- can't-”

He broke off with a heart rattling sob, head falling into his hands. Thomas shook with the effort not to give in, pretend for just a little longer, but he couldn't be deceived, not again. He's already lost too many people, and he'd rather finish it now than to wait for it to finish him.

“I'm sorry.” He hushed down, making John look at him. He hoped John could see how much this was hurting him. “But I can't be broken down by others anymore.”

John choked again, shaking his head violently. “Okay.” He couldn't yell, didn't have enough energy left. “If that's what you want.” John stood, “But I'm making it clear we don't want you to leave. Do not make Alex deal with this right now. Not when everyone else is around and he had nowhere to go.”

“Fine.” Thomas sniffed, “When we get back home, we'll break it off. For the better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short I'm sorry, the angst is almost over, deep breaths.
> 
>  
> 
> I promise this has a happy ending, I swear.


	6. And I Need A Vacation Tonight

They could never really keep things from Alex. He was too quick witted, smarter than they could comprehend.

Thomas wasn't in the tent when John let it slip, but he was sitting by the fire, right outside. He heard the sniffles no one else could, the sobs that made his heart yearn to run in there and wrap up his baby girl, but he had to stay outside. He couldn't just give in when they wanted him to, because they'd just go right back to forgetting him immediately after and he couldn't handle that.

When the cries got louder, he could hear them being shushed, two different voices crying for him. His heart completely shattered when Alex came out, and nestled in his lap.

He pulled the blanket on Thomas’ lap over his head, wrapping his arms around his torso. He sniffled underneath the fleece, pressing his face to Thomas’ side.

“Please stay.” He whimpered, not letting anyone hear. It took all of Thomas’ control not to fall apart right then. “Please, tell me what we need to do to prove to you we want you.”

“You don't have to do anything.” He pulled him into a hug, letting him nuzzle his neck, “I'm not going to force you to pretend to love me anymore. It's obvious what you and John have and I don't need to come between that.”

Alex cried out again, but stayed, letting his warmth sink in.

John came out a little later, looking ashamed, but hiding it well. Thomas had always been able to see past their facadés. It was something they really loved about him. He ducked his head and pulled up another chair, tucking his head into Thomas’ shoulder. Thomas could feel his tears, hiding them with his shirt, John's body shaking. He wrapped a blanket around himself, hoping to hide just how badly this was affecting him.

He didn't even know what he was thinking anymore, if they were really this upset about him, over him, maybe they really did want him to stay. Maybe they do want him here, forever, not just to play with and discard. He let his hopes up all too fast, placing a sleeping Alex in John's lap so he could grab some food for them.

He eased into the kitchen, John giving him a weak smile when Alex was placed in his lap. He found Maria, who arrived earlier that day, her makeup still perfect despite being in the middle of the woods. She gave a pretty smile,

“James wanted me to tell you 'hey’.” She smiled, passing in a cup of hot chocolate. He took a sip, giving her a smile, “Thanks. Hey did he ever get with that girl he's been drooling over for years?”

“Yeah, actually!” She grinned, “They were sucking face when I left.” She giggled, and Thomas laughed with her.

When the laughter died of, Maria chewed her lip, glancing at Alex and John, then back to Thomas.

“I'm real sorry.” She whispered, “About Alexander.” Thomas’ head shot up, eyebrows creasing. She didn't know, she didn't know they were breaking off- how did she know?

It took moments of his panicked thoughts for him to realize she didn't even know they were _together_ , let alone splitting apart, she was talking about something _entirely_ different.

“I didn't know he was when the hallway when it happened, but then I figured out there was another set of eyes on us and _I didn't tell you-_ and I _knew_ , knew how you felt, Thomas, I'm so sorry.” She rambled, rubbing her hands along her forearms furiously.

Thomas ducked his head, “It's my fault, I really shouldn't have said what I did. I was angry, prideful, I didn't want to explain what we we're doing, to him. I just-" He sighed, Maria putting a hand on his cheek.

“I'm sorry. I should've asked you to do that for me, you're not my caretaker- especially not on school property.”

“I wanted to help you, Mari, trust me, it's not your fault.”

“Still…” she mumbled, gesturing to the couple on the chair.

Alex was awake, laugh at something Alex had sad, any hints of sadness gone. It made his heart clench. _Had it really all been fake?_

“They look so happy together. That could've been you if I had just-”

“Died?” Thomas countered, mouth falling open. “You needed what I was giving you. Nobody else knows what happened in that hallway except me and you. Alex only saw half of it, and the half he saw looked pretty bad, I'm not gonna lie, but you _needed_ it.” He pulled her into a hug, “Please don't put this on you. I promise, it was my fault. I shouldn’t have said what I said.”

She mumbled something into his chest, then pulled away. “I finally got Eliza to go on a date.” She added, “On a happier note.”

“Really?!” Thoma squealed, “That's great!” He kissed her on the cheek, “I'm proud of you Mari. You're really coming out of your shell.”

She snorted. “More like the closet.”

“Please,” Thomas chuckled, “You were never really in the closet. More like a see through shower.”

She laughed, slapping him. “I was not that obvious!”

“Yeah right-” his sides hurt from laughing so hard, “Peggy to-” He gasped, “When either of them walked by, you practically swooned.”

She blushed, eyes going wide. “Shsuhsh.” She spasmed, giggling. “She doesn't know yet.”

“Yet?”

“Well, ya!” She cheered, “Lisa's adopted, so it shouldn't be too weird asking for a threesome, right?”

Thomas almost choked on his drink, feeling it sting his throat. _Stinging_ , he spit it out, suddenly aware of what was happening. He could only laugh at it, feeling lighter than air.

“You're so fucking drunk right now.” He grinned. She smiled,

“Duuh.”

“Holy shirt, you're breath. You're _high_ too.”

“Well I wasn't going to ask her any other way.”

Thomas rolled his eyes, pulling her close. She stumbled in her heels, “I'm putting you to bed.”

“Can't, tents not up.”

“Sleep with the sisters.”

“ _Yesss_ -” She hissed.

“And Angelica's probably sleeping with Laf and Herc tonight, so it'll just be you and you're two crushes.” He pulled him into the tent, hearing giggles inside. “Hey, can I come in?”

“Thomas?” Eliza called from inside, Peggy's voice following. “What?”

“I've got a drunk Maria who needs a place to crash.” He couldn't keep the laugh out of his voice, watching the tent unzip and Maria tumble in.

He was crying by the time they got her in, all laughing too hard to actually get anything done, faces hurting from smiling so wide.

He could've sworn, too, that when he left and the tent was closed back up he heard Maria shouting, “Who wants to take my clothes off first.”

When he returned back to the tent, he could almost feel the tension in the air, swimming through it. It was so thick, seeing the way Alex and John stayed connected to each other, not willing to separate, but not knowing what to do with the other, waiting for Thomas.

Everything shattered in an instant, the way he felt, what Maria had said, _even when they were dating, it looked like Alex belonged to John and John to Alex._ Maria's words were harsh to hear, worse to understand, but they were the truth.

“Is that why you're leaving?” John whispered. His voice.was hoarse, from the crying probably, fake or not. “For her?”

His eyes shot open, “We used to date but-”

He cut himself off when Alex began shaking violently. “Is it because of what I saw? In the hallway that day?”

“Alex, no, of course not…” he paused, falling to the floor. He scooted closer to them, taking Alex's hand in his, “Is that why you don't want me?”

Tears spilled from Alex's eyes, “I've gotten over it. I still don't understand what I saw and what you said, but I understand _you._ You aren't like that. You wouldn't do something so awful to her.”

“I didn't.” He whispered.

John had broken down again too, touching them. “What aren't you two telling me?” He whispered. “Are you keeping stuff from me?” He whimpered, wiping his eyes, “I don't understand…”

“It's nothing!” Thomas assured them. “What happened in the hallway was _years_ ago- I-”

“So you've been keeping this from us for _years_.” John shot back, but there wasn't any force. He felt just as dejected as Thomas did, and right now, Thomas didn't feel like babying him. It hurt too much.

“I've never needed to bring it up. It'll just make you look down on me _more,_ and I love you too much for you to thinks so little of me.”

“Then stay!” Alex cried again, tumbling into his arms. “Stay…”

“We both know that's exactly why I need to leave…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess what, the angst is almost over!
> 
> Maria's gonna be a big part in that


	7. So If I Said I Want Your Body Now

Alex woke up first and immediately left the tent. Thomas and John were wrapped so tightly around each other his heart melted before freezing over instantly, knowing full well it wasn't going to last. He wiped away the tears gathering in his eyes, slipping away from the scene.

It was still dark outside, the cool air making him seem at least semi presentable, turning to the girls tent. He sucked in a breath, unzipping Eliza's door only slightly, leaning close to it.

“Can I come in?” He whispered through the hole, hoping she would say yes. He really needed to talk to someone. Maybe someone Thomas would listen to.

It took a minute, and a little bit of shuffling, but eventually it unzipped the rest of the way and Eliza's face appeared.

“What's wrong?” being Alex's ex, the only time they really came to each other was with a problem.

“Thomas.” He whispered, more tears threatening to break free.

“Uh oh.” She yanked him in, letting him tumble over the two other bodies.

“What the-” he scrambled to the side when one of the covered bumps sat up, revealing a topless Maria. “Fuck.” He finished.

She just shrugged, covering herself.

“What brings you here?” She asked, tossing Alex a blanket. He wrapped it over his shoulders.

He stared blankly for a moment. He came in here to talk about  _ Maria _ , but she was here… he shook his head, it'll be easier to get this over with.

“Do you love Thomas?” He asked softly, pointing to her. Her mouth fell open, tucking the blanket in so she could get closer to him. She took his face in her hands- then pulled him into a hug.

“You love Thomas, don't you?” He sniffled, burying his face in her chest. “Alex… tell him, he loves you too-”

“No-” he choked, “He didn't tell you, did he?”

“Tell me what?”

He pulled his head up. “We're dating… John, Him, and I… but now he wants to b-b-break u-up-” he started shaking.

“Oh, babe,” she whispered, pulling him into her lap. He sobbed a little louder.

“I just… is it you?” He asked hesitantly. The words by have sounded bad, but she knew he meant well. He was heartbroken and she didn't have it in her to shatter it more.

“Oh no, no, of course not… we used to date, but that was before I came out. As  _ gay _ .” She emphasized.

“B-but what about w-what I saw? I-is that why?”

Maria let out a small laugh. “He wasn't raping me. Okay?” He nodded. He knew Thomas wasn't like that. “I have diabetes, and a fear of needles.” She said simply. “He was helping me take my insulin.”

His eyes went wide, “But what he said-”

“Was stupid. Prideful, he said, it was a mistake. You had his heart the moment you walked through those doors for the first time. But the thing is, you were taking over the school, replacing him, and that kinda went to his head.”

“That's why he was such a bitch all the time.” Eliza said absently, braiding a sleeping Peggy's hair.

Maria nodded. “But it's not hard to tell why he wants to leave…”

Alex sobbed again. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“You and John, Alexander!” She said, “He's… jealous, babe.” She said softly. Running her fingers through his hair, she wiped a stray tear, “You and John are close,  _ so close _ . And you and Thomas started off rocky anyway. He's  _ scared _ .”

“But he doesn't  _ have to be _ .” Alex cried a little louder, “I don't know how to convince him we want him to stay.” He mumbled, the sounds garbled by the blanket. His face was wetting the material, the fabric rubbing the moisture over his face, making it red.

Eliza sniffed behind them, crawling over to Alex's backside and pressing herself to his back, hugging him from behind. He tucked her chin into his shoulder, kissing his cheek.

“Anyway you can.” She whispered, her tears mingling with his.

…

John found the little cuddle pile an hour later, swimsuit in hand. His hair was a mess, unlike how he would normally tie it up when it was, his skin flushed but his movements sulking and small.

He was already changed, stepping into the tent, barely even acknowledging who was with him and who he stepped on.

“Sorry Pegs.” He mumbled, slumping down beside them.

“Hercules says we're going tubing. We have no choice apparently.” He wiped his eyes, the dark bags underneath very noticeable.

Maria gave him a sympathetic glance that he glared at in return but she didn't take it personally, already catching on to what was going on between the three.

“Why?” He coughed out from her chest, refusing to look up.

“Dunno. You three are coming too.” He pointed at the girls, “Once again, not choice. Thomas is staying here to cook… but he did ask if you'd stay.” He glared at Maria once again, struggling out a few more words sounding strained and painful, “To help him cook.”

She nodded, not reaching out to him. Maybe Thomas had a reason not to tell him, and it wasn't her place to intervene. She didn't need to defend herself, she needed to help Thomas figure himself out.

“I'll stay.” She said simply.

Alex groaned, untucking himself. He rolled over to John, who eagerly scooped him up, hiding in his shoulder. Alex straddled him, hugging him back tightly.

“We'll fix this.” He spoke softly, brushing John's hair.

The girls didn't rush them, Maria stepping out to find Thomas. When they finally broke apart, Peggy was up and awake, giving Eliza her bikini and had already dropped off Angelica hers. They didn't bother covering up being as close as they were to each other, and it didn't hurt that John was gay, stripping and adjusting, then willing stepping out to give Alex and John some time.

“This'll take our minds off it.” John said suddenly, a little more cheerful, “Just for a while, at least.” He smiled slightly, handing Alex the shorts.

Alex nodded. “Taking a break.” He said with a shaky laugh.

John helped him changed, then they stepped out, following the girls as they led them to the boat they were renting. They caught Angelica and Hercules on the boat, wrapped around each other while Lafayette tried to hook up the tube. It was a nice sight compared to the last few days, that not only have been rather dramatic, but also rainy and dementing. Watching Lafayette struggle with the handle made Alex perk up, his thoughts already drifting somewhere better.

Eventually, Laf gave a frustrated whine and Hercules had to switch with him, laughing when it took him barely a second and he was back on the boat.

Alex, Peggy, and Eliza crawled on the tube, making sure to keep the rope away from the propeller while John climbed on the boat with the rest of them. He tossed them life jackets that they squeezed into, then settled in their places.

When the boat started, Alex had already began to relax. The water was cool when the wind was warm, blowing his hair away from his face and cleaning his stained cheeks, hands tight around the handles, stomach pressed flat against the wet material of the tube. The speed slowly increased and so did Alex's excitement. With every wave that came by, they went flying into the air, the cold welcoming and the jerking feelings distracting.

“Holy  _ fuck _ !” Peggy cheered next to him, Eliza shrieking as they were lifted over another wave, smacking back into the water, droplets raining over them. Alex shouted too, arms pleasantly aching with every strain, smiling so widely, eyes shut tight to keep the waves out.

The faster they went, the higher they went, it seemed, dropping for forever, but never willing to open his eyes shouting and grinned from ear to ear. His feet were tangled with Peggy's, keeping him grounded whenever they were lost to the wind, warping their voices and wracking their hair around their faces.

Eventually Eliza called a stop, out of breath and laughing so hard she could barely hold on she motioned for them to stop before she fell in the water. John was laughing at her while they waited, Alex moved onto his knees waving to John. He grinned back, turning his attention back to Eliza to wait for her okay.

Alex's eyes fell down to his lap, wiping the spray off his face and pushing the heels of his hands into his eyes. But when he pulled them away, his glance was caught by something else.

_ Nonononono _

He started to shiver from the cold, fear racing down his spine at the pronounce red spreading between his thighs stealing his breath, his lower lip beginning to shake.

_ They didn't know- they couldn't know, not yet, he wasn't ready- he couldn't- _

Then the boat started moving and Peggy pushed him back down, only grabbing one of the handles before they were jerked back, soon going faster than before.

The girls shrieked beside him, their smiles prominent, but he could only focus on the cold feeling surrounding him, his shaking arms and his turning stomach. He was going to vomit, he could feel his blood going cold. They were going to see it, and they were going to know and hate him for lying for so long-

He couldn't even scream, but he felt the tube fly up and flip over, shedding everybody on it in the process.

The next thing he knew was skimming over the water and falling beneath, flesh burning with the impact, finally getting a scream out when he smacked against the waves, snatching him under. He lungs filled with water, the freezing fear immobilizing him, keeping him trapped under the waves.

His lifejacket was his savior, bringing him to his first full breath of air, hacking out the water, and staring into the empty calm of the lake.

Empty, alone. They were gone. They left him, lost to waved waves. He felt more tears fall down his face, blending with the water lining his face. He sobbed.

_ They were gone _ .

…

Maria snuck in behind Thomas, making her words sharp and clear.

“You are making a mistake.”

The menacing tone was clear, turning around to find her hips locked and arms crossed.

“Maria-”

“No, Thomas fucking Jefferson, you will sit and listen to me!”  Thomas flicked off the stove, sitting at the campground table, stunned. She's never lashed out so drastically before. “Tell me. Tell me right now why you're leaving them.”

“They told you?”

“Thomas.” She deadpanned, “Alex came to Eliza this morning. He was absolutely  _ sobbing _ , Thomas! You're breaking down the people you love the most. So tell me, Jefferson, why I should stay on your side.”

Thomas kept the tears at bay, running his hand through his hair.

“Because, Maria! You said it yourself, you say how in love they look. I'm breaking it off before they can. I  _ can't _ lose another lover- I can't lose  _ two _ at once- I can't lose  _ them _ .” He sobbed.

“But you  _ are _ .” She pleaded, “They aren't leaving  _ Thomas. _ ” She grabbed his hand, “You're doing the exact same thing to them that you're trying to avoid.  _ You're hurting them _ !”

“I-I-I’m-” His eyes went wide. “I'm  _ leaving them. _ ” Like those words finally had a meaning. “I'm the villain right now.” His mouth fell open.

“You're the one who's quitting on them.” Maria whimpered, tightening her grip on his hands.

“I-I can't.”

“You won't.”

“I-I n-need to f-find them- I have t-to  _ go _ -”

Maria shot up from her chair, food long ignored, they sprinted to the beach, not even remembering to bring shoes, the gravel digging into their feet, but Thomas couldn't keep the small smile creeping over his face.

They sighed when their feet touched the soft white sand, kicking up dirt and shells, watching the boat pull in, almost like it was timed.

“John! Alex!” He cried, sprinting to the side doc, over the creaky wood. He jumped the side of the boat, ignoring what was happening inside.

“Thomas-” He heard John speak, automatically reaching for him and stealing his lips in a kiss.

John pushed back, eyes drifting shut for just one second, lost to the bliss of having Thomas’ lips against his again.

But the serenity  _ shattered _ just like that.

John pushed him away, ignoring his look of defeat. All it took was one long look at John's face, wet with tears, eyes puffy and red from crying.

“John…” his voice shook, suddenly too aware of the lack of presence on the boat.

“Thomas. Alex is gone. We couldn't find him.” John suddenly fell to the floor in a heap of sobs.

"We lost him Thomas. He's gone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.

**Author's Note:**

> And we're back. More Jamilams, please, someone needs to write more Jamilams.


End file.
